#hes so cunty and sad i love him
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he Will be mine
i already lost the 50/50 so its guaranteed too
#aventurine you Will come home you have no choice#bro he hurts so fucking bad his stiry had me crying sm#hes so cunty and sad i love him#im sad he cant be on a team with blade tho :( theyre my top two faves#at least he will work good with the dan hengs they always get two shotted jdlakwjehdh especially dragon heng bro is a glass cannon#i hope he comes home soon so i will still have boothill funds#hes so my type i need him biblically#the only leg up aven has is the soul crushing backstory#i love my men fucked up#since we dont know a lot about boothill yet hes really only got his looks#yk?#anyways#if i had a nickle for everytime a blonde was my fave even tho im not usually attracted to blondes id have two nickles which isnt a lot but#its weird it happened twice#vash the stampede 💪 aventurine-blondes who have suffered more than jesus#what was i posting about again
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Oden's prophecy of young pirates coming to save wano becoming yamato's hope for his freedom.... and him becoming oden because of it.... it's just so good... on the other side luffy taking ace's spot for liberating yamato... I think I hauve covid
#the spades pirates in wano to save children... omg... deuce.... i have heard so much of you....#yamato complaining about how eveyrhing is his father's fault and ace getting violent...#it is so sad that in the end it was (partially maybe) his father's fault... if not roger then whitebeard..... maybe both#the hibiscus flowers..... rouge....#yamato telling ace he talks too much about luffy.... omg.....#NAMI TELLS TAMA LUFFY LOST ACE TOO!!! AND LUFFY CAME BACK TO WANO BC ACE SAID HE WOULD!!! OMG...... THE LINGERING.....#talking tag#watching one piece#episode 1014#pink haired samurai is still alive and kicking... hell yeah....#ODEN WAS THE SECOND COMMANDER FOR WHITEBEARD??? OMG???#whitebeard dealing with his rebellious son ace akshaksjak.....#ace wanting to save wano for his husband and child but wb wouldn't let him bc he is still caught up about his ex husband's death... complex#TEACH GO TO HELL!!! FUCK YOU!!! DIEEEE!!!!#they can't put luffy crying about ace dying here again.... tama feeling bad about yelling at luffy....#YAMATO KNOWS ABOUT THE D????#big mom wants robin.... i mean of course.... curious about pudding and her third eye.... we will meet again i guess...#PONEGLYPH!!!! kaido little borther to mom...... god valley.... rox.... i remember.... she gave him his power omg...#episode 1015#ace face down smiling after whitebeard beats him up reminded me of ace dead smiling. hell on earth this is my last straw. goodbye.#the animation <3 ace i love you <3 yamato you are great <3#omg... little ASL with the big pirates saying he will become pirate king omg...#PAUSE!! ACE HEARING GOOD THINGS ABOUT ROGER AND SAYING HE SOUNDS NICE THIS IS CRUCIAL TO MY ACE LORE OMG#yamato didnt say who it was... did ace really die not thinking his father was good this is my roman empire... critical hit to my brain#yamato made aces vivre card.... should i end it all for realsies this time....#his cunty skate boat 😭😭😭😭 i could cry#he really is looking like a beautiful dead wife this episode.... yamato......the vivre card omg..... NOT THE FLASHBACK ENOUGH#THE TRANAITION BETWEEN ACE FALLING OFF LUFFY AND HIM FALLING TO THE GROUND OMG AKFBSKDNDKSKLWKWNSKWK NOOOOOO#OH FINALLY THEY ARE ALL THERE TO FOGHT BIG MOM AND KAIDO!!! FUCK YEAAHHHHHH a good drag for the mugis for good measure#episode 1013
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I got Baldur’s Gate 3 for my birthday! :D
#It’s oct 3rd btw -w-#Every year I am absolutely blasted by mean girls and fma on my special lil birthday boi day#this painting is so perfect for him man the little fallen star are you kidding me???#baldurs gate astarion#baldurs gate 3#baldurs gate fanart#astarion ancunin#astarion art#astarion#digital art#my art#artists on tumblr#procreate#digital illustration#digital painting#my cunty little meow meow#he has a last name?!#y’all know exactly which sad little boy painting I’m referencing in this#if you wanna wish me happy bday btw like and reblog this I’m so proud of it :’)#me starting this: I know the old greats loved putting their entire renaissance 🐈 into blowin out details but I’m not doing that#me an hour later: (drawing visible veins)
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okay nonbinary character in Orv alert. slay
#Pretty fun that they’re having a jealousy moment over dokja rn#(I know junghyeok said he wasn’t specifically talking abt dokja but I assume he said that to keep nirvana from attacking dokja.)#Demonic judge of fire and secretive plotter are goofy lmao#Junghyeok: IM NOT INTERESTED IN MEN#Constellation demonic judge of fire is coughing up blood! You have been gifted 2000 coins!#<- killed me. Demonic judge of fire I love you pookie#….of course when I look at nirvana’s wiki they’re misgendered. -_-#Though I guess the vibe is tht bc they reincarnate so much gender is irrelevant to them? Which. that’s a vibe.#but also would it mean tht they don’t rlly care abt pronouns as long as u acknowledge that fact?#Idk I’m just pre-emptively headcanoning in case they turn out to be shitty rep#OHHHH NO JUNGHYEOK TRAUMA MOMENT. LOOKIT HIS SAD FACE D:#Sidenote I do adore how much the power scaling in this is just like kids in a playground one upping each other#And that guy from the small world was such an overpowered oc even though we already have a parody of an overpowered oc (junghyeok) hdgjfjv#‘Could they have invested everything into speed & psychic skills instead of physical skills?’ OMG#KICK THEIR ASS DOKJA#I love glass canons. Surely they’ll never break#‘Ur hot so I won’t kill you’ nirvana if only you were a protag….. YOU ARE SO CUNTY#Kim dokja dissociating even harder to defeat literal nirvana. Good for him#going post#orv
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kiryu you were not about to write that on your bucket list you lying faker you gay ass homosexual man
#infinite wealth spoilers#look personally i do think he likes cabaret clubs#but like. to make friends. and to talk to people in a somewhat formulaic setting#and i figure he's been to so many that it's not high on his end-of-life priority list to like. do that more#he wouldn't be seeking his last nut he'd be going to the human equivalent of a cat cafe#kiryu when he fucking lies.png#he's probably joking here but along with the 'yeah of course i've proposed before' thing i think he's just. really trying to fit in#which is so sad. girl you're dying let yourself be gay#if you look at it that way the loss of the dress up abilities he got in gaiden is actually kinda heartbreaking like. peepaw can't be#anonymously cunty anymore. he's gone back to being kiryu. to being the dragon of dojima. and as much pain as that title has caused him#he's still worried about looking cool. earlier in this scene he's talking about letting that go and eating eggs n shit but like#it doesn't go away completely and i don't think it will. obviously i don't think the re-closeting thing is particularly intended#tis a niche reading but it's one that makes me very very emo. kiryuuuuuu i love youuuuuu what the fuckkk AUGHHHRH#ehatever anyway#rgg#ryu ga gotoku#kiryu kazuma#nyarla dni
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LISTEN. aerie. i am going to read and reread vampjean forever. i already know it will be perfect……. Whatever u end up with i will love. im not the prompter but i sure am excited
kissing you kissing you kissing you kissing you kissing you kis-
i am also SO excited but man it's gonna be painful first. do y'all know that? the prompt was 'jean is a vampire who wants to drink from kevin and riko won't let him'
so. there's... there's some bad stuff. but then it gets sweet. it's like a sour patch kid. instead of sour it's torture and abuse :)
#TwT#also i'm nervioso because i've never really written riko before. i made him very cunty i think and i'm happy with it.#but also. i don't want people to get mad at me about it.#this fandom is So fucked you know klgjslkg#sighhhh#anyway#yay vampjean#he gets a sad backstory. he gets broken and beaten and damned (mcr ref) and then he gets the beautiful boy. as a treat : )#sighs dreamily.#bisexual vampire in love with his only friend... tale as old as time... lkgjklgj#sorry for the tag rambles i didn't know i was gonna do that? lgkfjglks#diaerie#ish#anon#answered#love
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Making OC's for post WDGFIL Valentine to become friends with because he's a sad wet cat to me and deserves friendship
#also writing a fic ill never post lmao#the OC's r like. semi already existing. im just making adjustments to throw them into the MH universe#changing my beloved Logan's name to Aero and then also changing everything abt him except for like. 2 personality traits#and making Sam look way more cunty and also making him only Half vampire instead of just a straight up vampire#haven't figured out Rayne yet we'll see if i throw her in there#created a new zombie oc her name is Cammie#like part of his redemption is befriending Draculara but also#but he needs some other friends too that arent an extension of being Draculara's friend#like get out there my love. make some friends. experience being an akward loser teenager just trying to be nice#hes also broke as hell and has been disowned by his mother and told the homophobic clouds to kill themselves#so hes not having a great time#lets get this boy a support system#whisp hangs around but he doesnt want to use his last wish bc she'll have to return to the lamp and that would be sad.#eventually she convinces him to say bye tho#in that the last wish he makes is like. hey gurl gimmie a magic phone or smthn so we can talk while ur in there#ill figure it out. doesnt matter rn#kieran valentine#mh#why do ghouls fall in love
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"zoros sad and never smiles bc mihawk tortured him" not like he wasn't on an island for 2yrs with a girl who's power is suicide baiting ppl.....
#zoros not even sad#i think he had a wonderful time#he loves training#and perona taught him how to be a better bully to his bullies (the crew)#he came back to sabaody so confident and cunty#he was msking fun of everyone for being late#you know perona helped him set that up#you know he told her about being bullied by the crew for always being lost and not being able to read the room#she probably negative hollowed it out of him#and then felt so bad bc hes so pathetic#that she was like#i cant let u keep embarrassing yourself like this#and taught him how to be more of a bitch#and got him to the island first and most importantly kept him there#he thought he was so cool#he was... he was the coolest
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klavier is such a cunt in this case good for him
#i hate u popular fanon portrayal of klaviers character i hate u ppl who write him without any spine#hes so MEAN and CUNTY and is just fucking bullying his defendants half the time adaksks god. its ok klavier i get u i understand u#rlly like him. hes such a complex little asshole. sad that so many ppl boil him down to celebrity niceguy#they make him so SPINELESS ouhhhh. soo so spineless. klaiver is not as nice as ppl pretend he is in their content adkksjsk#hes soo kind but he has not been nice in court a single time yet#nik plays aa4#mr bitch man! mr silly fuck! mr celebrity meanie! and so on <3 i love him
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Sad Astarion sketch I did at 3am last night lol
I always make my best art at night while i’m all messed up in the head
#baldurs gate astarion#astarion#bg3#baldurs gate fanart#baldurs gate iii#baldurs gate#I LOVE THIS VAMPIRE#Hes so tragic and sad#but also so cunty#duality lmaooo#I want to be him though
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I love the idea of Crystal struggling with her past bitchy self and I REALLY want more of that, but consider: she thought Charles was a cute distraction. She sees Edwin as a friend now (which she really wanted more of). Bitchy, popular teenage girls are unstoppable once they have a cunty gay best friend.
So once Crystal finds out about the conversation on the staircase she is actually horrified that Charles effectively left Edwin on read, indefinitely, forever (this is how she sees it, anyway, because she can’t fathom how long forever is as a mortal teenager). She takes it upon herself to try and show Edwin the best gay clubs and film festivals and fashion shows and secretly kind of hopes Charles will get his shit together or maybe Edwin will move on or something because this is too fucking sad to watch.
Edwin is confused about why Crystal is suddenly being so nice to him and assumes it is about his time in hell, or about almost dying in Esther’s house, or maybe even Niko’s absence. Charles is so fucking angry she keeps introducing him to other blokes and oh no. Why is he angry. What is this feeling again.
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"slut!" jude bellingham.
summary — you finally release an unexpected song about your relationship after receiving countless hate for it.
notes — send reqs and shit 😙
warnings — hate comments thats it rlly
_________________________________________
y/nsusername
y/nsusername: 🍒👡
—
username: she never posts jude anymore
username: i rlly dont like her
— username: okay...
username: shes using jude idc
username: bet jude got those heels for her
— username: u act like she isnt a model/singer whos just as successful as him
username: she doesnt deserve him
— username: and you do?
username: ur all insane and sad. leave her alone
username: shes too pretty to be acting the way she does
— username: she doesnt do anything...
username: slut
y/nsusername
y/nsusername: coming soon...
—
username: OH??
username: yayy
username: nobody cares
username: i cant take her seriously
username: still no jude posts
username: she didnt even go to his match yesterday
username: she always uses guys wtf
username: why does evergone hate her?
— username: because shes dating jude and people are stupid
y/nsusername
y/nsusername: my new single "slut!" drops tonight, and i can't wait for you all to hear it. i love this song and myself, and to be able to share it is a pleasure. 🤍🩵
—
username: omg.
username: her naming it slut... not even gonna listen
username: WHAT.
username: im freaking out
username: this is abt to be a power move.
username: oh!
judebellingham
judebellingham: My lovely y/n - I'm endlessly proud of her and everything she has accomplished as of recently. Her strength is beyond me and I will forever admire it.
Lots of things have been said about her these past few months, and I realize I should've made a statement. Her kindness told me not to, but now is the right time to share my love for such an amazing woman. Y/n has dealt with so much hate in the world, and I hate to see it. You never know the person behind the screen, and I have always encouraged kindness. Please apply it to those I love.
I have never felt so happy with anyone than I do with you, Y/n. I love you, and I love all of you who have stuck by us and supported my favorite girl.
—
username: i will cry.
username: i hope u all shut up now
username: BRO HE LOVES HER SM😭
username: the hating bitches are silent now
username: js a ton of 12 year olds jealous
username: i love them sm
username: "slut!" was so cunty idc
username: stream slut!!!!!
y/nsusername: ❤️❤️❤️💋💋💋
y/nsusername: i love you so much.
— judebellingham: I love you so much more
judebellingham added to their instagram story!
_________________________________________
#jude bellingham#jude bellingham fluff#fanfic#jude bellingham imagine#jude bellingham oneshot#jude bellingham x reader#jude bellingham x you#jude x reader#judebellingham#jude bellingham smau#jude bellingham fic#jude bellingham smut#jude bellingham social media au#jude bellingham x fem!reader#soccer imagine#football imagine#fanfiction#jude bellingam x fem reader#qraceiuv
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Knockout x Reader x Breakdown nsfw. Come on, I know you wanna
I will never recover from the predator/prey fic so here have something wholesome for once
“Fuck,” you hiss under your breath, barely taking in Breakdown’s spike. From sheer size alone, it feels like marching into a sex shop and demanding the giant dildo they use to attract tourists. Knock Out, cunty as ever, already has his far-too-soft-for-metal lips against your collarbone. If you were a sensible person, you would have shot down the mere mention of a threesome. Alas, the notion of trying this new thing called “mass displacement” called to you like a kid at a candy store. If you didn’t have the audacity to say yes, you would have missed the suppleness of Knock Out’s tongue and the unexpected gentleness of Breakdown’s fingers working you up. You love these guys enough to put up with their strange antiques and deal with their unusually-high-for-their-kind sex drive (or interface drive as Breakdown kindly pointed out before Knock Out immediately adopted the human lingo). They must have watched human porn, there’s just no way they haven’t – not with the way they stroke your body like frat boys finally getting their groove on after years of studying up on the sex. If you had the energy, you would be currently exploring the seams in their anatomy and dragging your fingers dangerously close to the openings in their frames, but there’s very little you can do when you’re busy getting plowed by two giant alien lifeforms. Knock Out, after having given you the most mind-blowing orgasm with his tongue alone, has fucked you so thoroughly you were practically on your own intergalactic voyage through space as Breakdown held you against his frame, having taken the brunt of his partner’s sexual frustration before they even dared to involve your squishy human insides. Dripping with two kinds of transfluids (the valve and the spike kind) you were gazing at them all blearily, looking unsexy as hell like you just got out of a car crash (minus the blood and with more alien cum). The warmth in their optics felt surreal and welcoming. You were small and fleshy against two titans who have witnessed more beauty than you ever will in your entire human life, but it was as though you were the center of their universe. If you hadn’t been crying from getting the best orgasms of your life, you would have teared up. Now, passed over to Knock Out – whose chassis you’ve grown accustomed to enough to relegate any sadness caused by watching his shiny plating be smudged by your natural oils to the back of your mind – you whimper and steer as his far too competent tongue drags across your neck, servos holding your ass still while Breakdown continues at a steady pace. “Holy shit-” you mumble, words cut short as the holder of the biggest dick you’ve ever had cups your cheek and kisses the side of your mouth. For all his eagerness, he’s softer than Knock Out, especially for a bot as big as him who looks like he crushes cars between his servos (which may actually be true considering the hammers he can summon to for melee). Another climax rolls through you, harder than the last one, inciting a pathetic high pitched anime girl mewl from your part. Breakdown grunts against your ear, metal whirring underneath his frame and against your back as your walls clamp down on him hard enough to drag out his long-overdue overload. His noises only serve to excite Knock Out who captures your lips with his and grinds his still-pressurized spike against the sensitive cluster of nerves between your legs. You come out of your trance having experienced your own death and resurrection, eyes misty and perpetually confused as you wake on the doctor’s slightly softer than steel berth with him hovering over you like a predator. It doesn’t take long for you to notice Breakdown’s fingers stroking your cheek, and once he knows he has your attention, he slips one of his massive digits between your thighs to begin rubbing against the long abused and overused sweet spot. Looking down at Knock Out’s gorgeous spike, you whisper a prayer to Primus Himself as you’re once again assailed by inhumane pleasure.
#transformers x human#transformers x reader#transformers prime#knockout tfp#knockout x reader#tfp breakdown#breakdown x reader#yay i finally wrote something emotionally okay#valveplug?#idk what else to tag
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CRAVE | Joel Miller
SUMMARY: there’s only one thing that joel craves, and it isn’t the mental fucking torture of an overly stubborn twenty-something teasing him ‘til he’s blue in the face. and balls.
PAIRING: dbf!joel miller x afab!reader. legal unspecified age gap.
WARNINGS: MINORS DNI, 18+ CONTENT BELOW THE CUT. alcohol consumption. pervy old man joel. reader’s dad (i’ve named him sorrrry) is there before joel gets pervy. some religious themes and also descriptions of religion in a negative light (this is MY experience with christianity, if you do not agree then please don’t read), no explicit smut but descriptions of what joel wants to do to youuuu so: mentions of piv, cock-riding, oral f!receiving, choking if you squint, dirty talk asf, joel being cocky which leads to his cock being sad and alone. reader is cunty. not proof-read ‘cus, once again, i’m a lazy bitch and i don’t have time for that. enjoy. 🫶🏻
An end to craving is an end to suffering.
Today’s last stream of sunlight fulgurates through the branches of your father’s prized Texas Ash, hitting perfectly the dime-sized crucifix situated comfortably between two pert tits sheathed in sheer black cotton.
Joel tries not to stare, but it’s impossible. He’s been watching you all fucking night. Every time you get up, he’s been glued to your ass. Whenever you lean over, Joel can’t seem to pry his eyes away from your cleavage. The more he’s been drinking, the more brazen he’s been with his stolen glances.
When your father rambles about some work-related spiel—and you’re sitting so innocently across the way—he can’t help affixing his eyes to the swell of your breasts. Wondering what it’d be like to touch, and grope, and suck on them.
Your mother was right about him. For all of the years that she knew Joel while your parents were together, she’d always say that he was trouble. A good-for-nothing, splenetic, perverted old-man who was but a bad influence. And you never noticed, never cared. You always thought that he was a great friend, and a stand-up guy.
Until today. Until you saw him scrutinizing your form—in front of your dad—you had a lot more respect for Joel. But now you realize that your mother was right. He is a perv. But—fuck—do you love that.
You’re not sure what you enjoy more—disrespecting your insane Catholic mother, or knowing that Joel is undressing you with his eyes—but you can’t help yourself feeding into his fantasy.
“Daddy?” Your father hums, not entirely bothered by the fact that you’ve just interrupted his conversation. He smiles. “Do you want another beer?”
“Please, hon.” He hands you his empty bottle, mumbling something about how he was going to get himself one and that you don’t need to. But you insist.
The blanket over your thighs is being discarded, hiking your dress up with it. Joel gets a glimpse of your lace panties that he likes to imagine you wore just for him, and shifts uncomfortably in his seat.
Bare, supple skin is on display as you get up from the deck chair. You turn to him with a prurient twinkle in your eye, and ask if he wants a drink too. “Yeah, another won’t hurt. I’m already pretty—“ he hiccups, “pretty far gone, anyway.”
Dad laughs while you saunter to the cooler and make a big show of bending over, completely unaware of the way Joel is trying to conjure up a plan to get you alone tonight. But then…
“Same ‘ere, bud.” He laughs before he’s nodding toward Joel. “Stay the night, if ‘ya wanna. I mean, you’re in no fit state to drive—none of us are—and I got a spare bedroom.”
His nose scrunches up, as if to decline, before you’re turning around with two unopened beers and a small bottle of wine. Your hand wraps around the neck almost romantically, leaving very little to his imagination.
“Yeah, you might as well stay, Miller.” You put down the beers on the table, still holding firmly the Merlot. “I’m stayin’. I got nowhere to be in the mornin’, and dad bought breakfast stuff.”
Two brown eyes are latched to each of yours, and you feel beads of perspiration roll through the valley of your breasts. Despite the evening cooling down, you’re stifling beneath his unyielding gaze.
“Alright, I’ll stay.” Joel concedes. He takes his can and cracks it open, lifting it up to cheers your father. “S’long as you’re makin’ me breakfast, Gary.”
Dad salutes and you smile, sinking into the purple cushion with a satisfied hum. You ogle Joel, biting fiercely the skin of your bottom lip. And it doesn’t go unnoticed.
Joel swigs his beer—letting your dad drunkenly ramble—and doesn’t take his eyes off of you. Wondering how he’s going to make you pay for torturing him like this.
But this hadn’t been your intention when Joel showed up to watch the Cowboys v Browns game this afternoon. In fact, him staying past nine o’clock was completely unintentional and if it weren’t for your dad pumping him full of Coors and Old Milwaukee, he’d be fast asleep at this very moment.
He supposes that he doesn’t mind, being here. Especially because he’s buzzed—still able to speak and think coherently, which is surprising—and gets to spend some rare time with you. Even if it is with your dad.
You watch them converse—the way that friends do—admiring how patient Joel is with him despite him being a little bit too inebriated for his own good. He’s the kind of friend that your old man needs; understanding, forbearing. And it baffles you that they’ve not known one another for longer than seven years, but surmise that they’d definitely be best friends in every other timeline because they just work so well.
But it’s the thought of them being friends—brothers—that urges feelings of unease. Trepidation. Gary’ll have a cow if he finds out the way that his so called buddy has been making googly eyes at his little girl’s titties for the last eight hours.
Joel senses the shift in attitude—you’re not teasing him now—and turns the topic of conversation to you. Dad doesn’t mind, though. Never minds talking to—or about—his kid.
“What made you stay in with us oldies tonight, huh?”
Wine is being swiveled around the glass before you take it back in one swig. A grimace flits over your features, but they both catch it.
“Didn’t feel like hittin’ the bars.” Candidly, you say. It’s refreshing. “Can’t be dealin’ with pervy old men tryna touch me.”
Less refreshing.
Joel’s blood runs cold, and you smirk. He swallows thickly the liquid acrimony bubbling from the chasms of his throat. He wants to screw that stupid grin off of your face—stuff his cock straight between those plush lips and throat fuck you ‘til you’re crying and gasping for air.
He just nods instead of saying anything.
“I’ll kill anyone that touches you.” Dad says, not sensing Joel’s sudden frigid state. “Seriously. ‘Specially if it’s an old fuckin’ degenerate asshole—“
“Alright, Gary.” You halt the hate train, pouring the last few dregs of wine into your glass. “No need to get all protective. No old coot is comin’ anywhere near me.”
You look directly at Joel when you say; “old men can’t do what guys my age can, anyway.”
Dad grimaces. Joel scoffs. You can’t help smiling, feeling very proud of yourself.
“Y’know, you’re still my kid? And hearing this shit is nasty.” Your father tells you around a burp, and realizes that this might be the time to call it a night.
He’s never been able to handle his alcohol, especially after being married to your psychotic beer-loathing, hymn-signing, prayer-group-leading, holier-than-though moronic fucking mother.
He lets himself get too drunk too fast, now. Ever since she went back to Kansas—which was totally code for I fucked the priest and got extradited from the church—he’s really let his hair down, and you’d be lying if you said this version of your old man wasn’t the very best. Because he’s living his life the way that he wants to, now.
It’s nice.
“It might be nasty, but ‘least you don’t have to worry about me bringing home a man your age. Or even worse; older.”
Gary gets to his feet—knees clicking and cracking as he does so—and nods. “‘Spose that’s true, kid.”
Joel. Is. So. Fucking. Pissed.
As you say your goodnights—and put on a few lights so that your dad doesn’t trip over his own feet—Joel is mentally counting down the minutes until he gets you alone on this damn patio. He’s determined to make you regret the few little comments that you’ve made tonight.
“Don’t stay up too late. Y’know how cranky ‘ya get with no sleep.” Dad reminds you. “You too, Miller.”
You hum your response, lifting your empty glass and indicating that you’ll be retiring to your room soon, too.
“Night dad.”
“Night, pumpkin.” He turns to Joel. “Make sure she ain’t up too late.”
He nods and shifts his gaze to you, eyes darkening. “Yessir. I’ll put her to sleep.”
Your father grunts and slides the patio door to close. Leaving his daughter and best friend alone together might be the biggest mistake that he’s ever going to make.
Joel watches him intently behind the glass door, heeding him stumble across the tile. He might be about to rearrange your guts, but he at least wants to be courteous.
Your legs squeeze together, for the only sound you hear is the reverberation of Joel’s I’ll put her to sleep in that sexy, beer-slick tone.
He sees it.
“She makin’ ‘ya squirm?”
You blink at him. “I beg your pardon?”
“Your pussy.” Joel—as candid as ever—elaborates. “Is she flutterin’ ‘cus ‘a me?”
The fallout of a chemical bomb would be much more appealing than having to look Joel in the eye after such a lewd statement.
“Don’t worry if so. I have that effect on the ladies.”
“Makin’ yourself sound like a slut, Miller.” Coolly, you respond. Your hand is reaching for a can of beer, twining fingertips around the base while another pulls the tab.
Two eyes screw shut when a spritz of alcohol is flushing over your face, neck and chest. Droplets of Bud trickle between those perfect tits that Joel’s eyes have almost burned fucking holes into; forcing even the horniest man on planet earth to render himself utterly speechless.
You trail a finger through the valley of your breasts, collecting the sticky liquid before you’re putting it straight into your mouth; sucking it clean. Your eyes are locked on Joel’s.
“What? Cat got your tongue?”
Slowly, he shakes his head. The sight before him is truly one to behold; his friend’s sweet daughter with her fingers between her tits out in the patio. Nobody’d ever believe him if he told them this. Joel probably wouldn’t even fucking believe himself.
“You’d like that, wouldn’t ’ya?” Is what he says in response. He’s quick witted, you’ll give him that. “My tongue stuck in your pretty little pussy—“
Heat flashes over you.
“You’re fucking vile.”
“Ain’t that the way it’s meant’a be?” He lurches forward, and your eyes travel to the small opening of his shirt’s midsection that highlights perfectly the fact that he hasn’t a base layer beneath the flannel.
You see a small patch of hair; brown, and gray and seems a little fuzzy. It’s a sudden reminder that this man is a smidge too old for you. But you can’t find it in yourself to care very much.
“Don’t think so.” Trying to out-douche him, you respond. Joel’s thick fingers are twined together, hands resting over the peaks of his knees. “Think youre meant’a have some kinda respect for me. Y’know, as my dad’s buddy, ‘n all.”
Joel snorts a laugh.
“I’d have respect for ‘ya, but the way that peachy fuckin’ ass was in the air when ‘ya bent over the cooler tells me that daddy’s ’lil girl is more of a slut than me.”
Your jaw rolls. Reaction: gauged.
He inches nearer to you; slimy grin plastered across rough, rugged features. “Only pullin’ your leg, hon. I know you’re no slut. Too much of a prissy bitch—“
“Oh, really?” Irked, you spit.
Joel nods. Pushing at your buttons has never been much of a difficult feat. It’s something that he quite enjoys, actually.
“Mhm, yeah.” The man is leaning backwards in his chair, now. Arms folded behind his head; hands pressed against his dark curls. “Gonna have to prove that you ain’t like your mama.”
Your blood boils. And then it runs cold.
“Don’t gotta prove shit to you.” You defend. Very defensively.
“No, that’s right. Don’t gotta do nothin’, kiddo.”
You see the outline of his dick as it stiffens within the confines of his dark, navy-denim jeans. He’s actually getting off on this.
“Unless you want to—“
“Nah, I’m good.” You’re leaning back, now, lifting your legs to sit criss cross applesauce. The barely-covering-your-crotch sheer fabric of your thong catches his eye; a glint of something wicked flickers through them as he clears his throat.
If you’re playing the long game, then so is he. He can out-stubborn anybody.
“So I’ve heard.” He jabs, insinuating that you’re a prude. Again. “Can prove ‘em all wrong, if ‘ya wanna.”
It’s killing him, this. It’s torture. But he’s strong. Ish.
You shake your head, reaching for your almost-empty can of beer. You’re taking another long pull, making a dramatic show of tilting your head back and puffing out your chest as you do so. His lips purse.
“I’m good.” You tell him again with a syrupy smile. “Rather we just talk. Y’know—be civilized, ‘n all.”
His arms are moving to the sides of his deck chair, now. Joel’s tongue runs along his bottom lip. He gives a quick bob of his head.
“Yeah, we can talk.” His eyes zone in on your pussy; the engorged wet patch situated on the part of fabric that kind-of clothes your cunt. His mouth waters. “But what’ll we talk about, baby girl?”
Another surge of pleasure oozes out from between your thighs, turning what was once a purple thong into a jet-black one. Joel doesn’t mind, though. The sight is sweet; it’s prurient, in some sick way.
“Hm.” You pretend to think, all the while spreading your legs a little bit more. He sees perfectly the outline of your folds as fabric hugs and highlights the inner workings of your beautiful anatomy. “Why don’t we start with what you’re thinkin’ about, Mr. Miller?”
A weakness of his, that is. You referring to him as Mr. Miller has always gotten him hot. It’s innocent, almost. It’s like that’d been engrained into your brain by the god-fearing fruit-loop that brought you up, and you can’t quit saying it in these situations.
“Oh, doll. Not sure you’ll wanna hear what I’m thinkin’ of.” His tone is rough, now. Like 180 grit sandpaper against the wooden walls inside of your fucking brain. You hum.
Mentally, Joel’s cock is spearing open the tight hole between your legs; making you scream his name. He’s thrusting his prick up into your cervix while you ride him like he’s the last cowboy on earth, desperate to feel a kind of pleasure that no man your age could ever bestow upon you.
In his head, he’s picturing your crucifix dangling in his face while you’re pleasuring yourself on his length; glistening with sweat, and cum, and Sierra Nevada. Howling at his girth, speechless at the size of him.
He wants nothing more than to wrap a hand around the base of your throat and fuck you into next week; feeling damp walls contract and seize around his cock—
“No.” You snap him back to reality; halting his train of thought. “No, you can tell me. I’m a big girl, I can take it.”
Oh, I’m fuckin’ sure she can.
“Fine.” He clears his throat. “Just thinkin’ of stufin’ that warm ‘lil cunt with my big ‘ol cock, ‘s’all.”
“Oh, is that all?” Your tone is teasing.
Joel does not like to be teased.
“If you’d shut your fuckin’ mouth, I’d be able to finish.”
In a moment of pure, unapologetic submission, you nod. The skin of your bottom lip is getting fucking gnawed at by your teeth in an attempt to conceal a moan.
It works. Kind of.
“What was I sayin’…” He strives to recall his last few words; and then he remembers. “Oh, yeah. Stretchin’ out that cute pussy ‘a yours.”
That cute pussy ‘a yours, is twitching. Fuck that, it’s pulsating.
“And you’re so sure of that? You being able to stretch me out, I mean.”
“Dead sure, angel face.” He quips. “I know for a damn fact that you’d be havin’ trouble takin’ my fat cock all in one go; be cryin’ for everyone to hear.”
Through long, thick lashes, you stare at him.
“You’d be seein’ stars; and not just the ones above us right now.”
You look up to the sky and hope to alleviate some of the mental pain being bestowed upon you right now. Which is entirely your own doing, of course.
Joel shifts in his seat so that he’s a little bit more sunken, able to heed clearly the sickly sweetness blanketing the chair you’re on.
“I’ll eat your pussy, too.”
Your attention is snapped back down to Joel, now. Your brows raise.
“Suck your soul right out from between your legs.”
“Oh, Joel.” You moan, a little. He lets his eyes shut for a brief moment, only to open them again to find you taking off your panties.
It’s like Christmas fucking day, this.
“I’d love for you to take me right here; fill me up on one ‘a the sunloungers.” You’re getting off your chair, and Joel’s heart is starting to pound within the chasms of his chest.
Thump. Thump. Thump.
You’re walking toward him; thong in hand. Fingers wreathed through soaked purple cotton.
“Can’t think of anything that’ll bring me more pleasure than you fuckin’ me ‘til I’m crying. Or gasping for air.”
“You ‘n me both, beautiful.”
You smile. You give Joel your underwear, before you’re running your fingers through his hair and he’s letting a hand glide up the meat of your thigh and beneath your skirt.
“Just a shame, ain’t it.”
“What’s a shame, sugar?”
The feeling of his fingertips—calloused and covered in rough skin—is almost orgasmic. But you’re stronger than what he is. So you pull yourself away from his hold, and begin to feel an unwavering sense of need. You shirk it, though.
You’re leaning into him now, breasts pressed against his shoulder, lips touching the shell of his ear. Goosebumps prickle over his neck and you assume that they’re making their way down south, too.
“Huh?” He says to get your attention, for you still haven’t answered. “What’s a shame?”
Fingertips trace over broad shoulders enveloped in soft, warm flannel. You’re leaning closer; hot breath on his skin. Your lips part to whisper:
“If daddy ever found out about this, he’d kill ‘ya.”
“Baby—“
You’re taking the panties from his hand, and tucking them into the breast pocket of his shirt. Fighting a blush—feeling very proud of yourself—your face remains straight.
You tap at his chest and walk away, but not before throwing a “night, Miller” over your shoulder.
Joel looks down at the ground, presently wallowing in some sort of self-pity. But then remembers the visible effect that his words had—and the way he looked at—you, and he can’t fight the stupid fucking grin pushing its way onto his face.
He might’ve just experienced blue-balls at his big age, but to see you submit to his gaze was absolutely worth it.
He just hopes you’ll never tell a soul about his dirty-talk. He has a reputation to uphold, these days.
#please don’t look at me. i’m ovulating#dbf!joel#dads best friend joel miller x reader#dbf!joel miller#joel miller#joel miller x reader#joel miller x you#joel miller x f!reader#joel miller x reader smut#joel miller fanfiction#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#tlou x f!reader#tlou x female reader#tlou x you#tlou x reader#tlou smut#tlou fanfiction#tlou fic#joel tlou#tlou hbo
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I am not immune to the Book of Bill so have some Bill + divorce era Ford + toxic old man yaoi sketches
Closeups under the cut
Ok also. As someone who does not enjoy drawing hands Ford is a fucking nightmare because he's got a whole??? Extra finger?????
However I will say there's a reason everyone was drawing twinkified Bill back in the day. He's really really fun to draw. I will admit the design I came up with is pretty basic lol. I really do love all the non-twinkified human Bill designs I've been seeing emerge lately! Imo they're far more interesting and well thought out than most of the oncler-ass looking biz that's been the norm for human Bill Although I think 90% of what makes him fan to draw is he's just such a cunty solipsistic little sack of shit. He's like a wine aunt and a malicious toddler and an obsessive tween who writes "my mom sold me to sev'ral timez for drinking money" fanfic fused together. He's a control freak and a hot mess and also deeply sad inside probably. What a guy.
#my art#gravity falls#the book of bill#book of bill#bill cipher#stanford pines#billford#toxic old man yaoi#human bill cipher#doodles#goose gallery#possessed nick au
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https://www.instagram.com/reel/C129xgdPN0D/?igsh=eWptZ2tnMHI0ODJ1
price and soap price and soap price and soap. i’m literally foaming at the mouth. i can’t take it
IM A PUDDLE IM A MESS OH MY GOD!!! THATS SO PRICE AND SOAP YEA IM LIKE SCALING THE WALLS
જ thinking about seeing price’s tummy first before his gains. thinking about price lifting his shirt up to wipe at his face, giving you a view of his belly and you freeze, going breathless because what the fuck that’s so hot.
john sees you gaping at him and he coughs awkwardly, apologizing about the indecency, and you’re quick to reassure him that “no, no oh my god you look good! sorry i just- i just didn’t expect that!”
clearly that doesn’t save you from further mortification so you stutter out a goodbye and hightail out of there. it’d be weeks later (the gap days full of you remembering john’s body… sometimes even dreaming about it. dreaming about being pressed against his softness and being cradled and being taken by him against the wall and-…!!) when john shows you his muscles—ripped in a way that you also didn’t expect from him but, you realize, of fucking course he’s ripped!
the daydreams just spiral even more after that :((
જ thinking about the opposite for soap—how you first saw his toned pecs before his tummy. thinking about seeing soap in that white cunty ripped-sleeves turtleneck as he fixes up something in his garage, sweat making his adonis-like muscles glisten and you honest to god whimper.
johnny looks up from where he’s got his head bowed to see something in his car and waves at you, shooting you that toothy smile that makes your breath hitch. the stretch of his arm makes his muscles flex and you could not stop the dreamy sigh that slithers out of your lips.
“hey neighbour!” johnny calls out, before his brows furrow in confusion as you, and you realize this in horror, proceed to just stare at him, all dopey and unblinkingly.
“oh!” you squeak. “bye!”
you’d try to ignore him as best as you could and you tell yourself that johnny’s sad puppy look isn’t getting to you but, well, you’re a liar and a weakling.
so, naturally, you see yourself knocking on his door a week later with a tupperware full of cookies. johnny swings the door open, wide smile only faltering a bit to make way for his confusion, but you bulldoze through whatever he must have wanted to say because you could honestly feel yourself getting faint—of course your handsome neighbour is even more handsome up close. of course.
“i, uh, got you cookies,” you say, cringing at the rasp of your voice. “well i say i ‘got’ you cookies but actually i baked them. for you. as apology. because i’m sorry.”
why, in god’s name, are you talking like that!?
“and you probably don’t wanna eat them because, duh, muscle man right here—” jesus christ, shut up! “so feel free to chuck ‘em out, i honestly wouldn’t feel offended and-”
johnny laughs, so bright and joyful that it makes him throw his head back. he even wipes his eyes because he’s laughing so hard, he teared up.
“easy there, chipmunk,” he says, mid-chuckles.
chipmunk?
“i’d love to eat these—” he takes the tupperware from you. “y’kiddin’?”
then he does the unthinkable—he lifts his shirt up to show you his, surprisingly, soft belly. you expected muscles and sculpted abs but this? god, this is better.
johnny pats his stomach. “this baby needs ‘em sweets.”
“uh huh,” you rasp out because what else can you say when adonis shows you his stomach?
“that’s great,” you add, your eyes still trained to his belly. “really, really great.”
“…you okay there?”
you fumble another ‘uh huh’ because, again, what else can you say?
yall need to stage a full intervention atp bc i cant stop rambling hhhshe!!! ne ways, this is me rn for realz 😭 and me! anotha me!! god i need emmmm
#thoughts-from-omen#john price x reader#johnny soap mctavish x reader#john price#johnny soap mactavish#ask#suns#IM LOSING MY MIND
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